October 29, 2016
We rarely use these pages to make political endorsements, but today, we at USA Tomorrow, the country’s last newspaper, wholeheartedly endorse the candidacy of Ms. Bridget B. Little for the presidency of the United States. Not only is she the most qualified candidate, we believe that this country is ready for a Lesbian Little Person as its commander in chief.
Considering the disasters of the last two administrations, not only is a new kind of candidate necessary, but a new party will be required to back her up. To this end, we also endorse all the candidates of the New New Party.
What impresses us the most about Candidate Little is the fact that she has not used her physical stature as a crutch nor as a wedge issue, all the while advancing the cause of little people in this country and throughout the world. And, we cannot defend her opponent’s crass attempt to belittle her with the nasty campaign nickname of Bridget the Midget.
Finally, he believe that her choice of Carlos Myopia , the legally-blind first governor of the new state of Baja California, as her Vice Presidential candidate proves that President Little will think big.
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